Cougar study?

today's thought process,

- 12:25 pm... "Where am I going to sit? And why is EVERY table full?! Like REALLY?! There isn't a single open table? Anywhere? Did that baby just look at me? why did I look at that baby? forget it! where am I going to sit?"
- 12:27 pm... "Ok. REALLY?! I mean, I know they are girls and all, but I was cleaning off this table for Myself! If they had wanted to sit with me, that would have been fine, but no.... I think thats called table hijacking, or table-jacking, or food court terrorism... yep. terrorists... cool it man, you're losing it. they probably thought you were an employee... Do I look like an employee? do I have an apron, and a little hat thing? no! how about a name tag!? NOPE. Name tags = the most basic form of "authority," and I am not wearing one.... how could they mistake me for an employee? UGH! oh well...
- 12:30 pm... "now back to our war correspondent, RYAN RICHEY. Australian accent, thanks michelle, Im here in the cougareat standing on the frontlines of the war on terror. earlier today, a group of terrorists assaulted one of the regions off to my right. as you can see behind me the group is not ashamed of their actions. during the hostile take-over of the table, i had the chance to meet with one of the leaders. here is how it went down: - me 'oh, sorry.' - her 'wait, (cynically) did we steal your table?' I knew they had taken offense to my comments, and that a false move here could mean death. those AK-47s and laptops they had on the table looked menacing. -me 'oh no, its fine.' I walked out alive. luckily. everyday here, thousands of people come to eat peacefully, but are cruely forced to stand or...."
- 12:31 pm... "holy cow.... did I really just imagine that I was an action reporter? for a whole minute? and did the table I was "watching" get jacked? yup. dang. you know, i should make this into like a game or something, so it wouldn't be so boring. yeah thats it. it'll be like hide and seek, or like an african big game hunt!..."
- 12:35 pm... heavy Australian accent, "I've got to catch that RHINO. I've been here weeks, n' I'm Staaaaahvin.... There! look at 'im sit there, I bet 'ee doesn't ev'n know i'm erre!..."
- 12:35:14 pm... "AHH, again with the Australian accent! Stop imagining... I need to eat. NOW! okay, just.... look around for someone who might be done eating... wait... why isnt anybody eating? where is the EATING?! why is NOBODY EATING!? (panic) WHERE IS THE FOOD!? THE GARBAGE!? THE TRAY TABLES?! why does everyone have books and laptops out? arent those for home? or other places? I came to EAT at the FOOD COURT! it is NOT called the "cougar stand-and-watch-people-hog-tables-while-they-study"!
-12:36 pm... "fine. I'll just go eat in the library."