Tuesday, January 20, 2009

STUDENTS

"OH MY GOSH, HES CHOKING!"
"what do we DO!?
"wait, I know!"
opens text book and begins performing Heimlich maneuver. SAVES child!

This isn't part of the script for the next ER, this is what would happen if someone started to choke in the cougar study.

I meant eat.

What would happen if a person was all alone and had a medical emergency? they would die. Sucky for them... Now, if they had been eating at the cougar eat, they would be saved! think about it!

blah blah blah... oh wait my leg fell off! help please!
(3 seconds later, there are 27.8 medical students working on the guy...)
-" I need 10 cc's of BYU chocolate milk, and some morpihine if they have it...."

(20 seconds later, they guy is standing up smiling, drinking the chocolate milk WITH his leg reattached... All thanks to the smart med students!)



another example: (well, maybe the same one again)

blah blah blah... oh wait my leg fell off! help please!
(3 seconds later, there are 58 physics majors awkwardly not greeting eachother, trying to determine what to do, without interacting with one another)

- "well, we could try the Cosine theta times the derivative of his body..."

(20 seconds later, the person gets up, carries his leg and goes and cries for help in the section with the med students...)



That second one was a bad example. Lets just say, I'm glad there are people to eat with at the cougar eat. Alone would be sad... Also, should I ever have a crisis in the cougar eat, I hope I land in the section with the med students... they are trained professionals, right?

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